Insomnia

Insomnia, the thing that either makes  or breaks a writer.  For me, it's a little bit of both. My creativity spikes when I'm stuck in a half awake half dream state. However, when I wake in the morning feeling groggy and beyond tired, I get to lazy to write anything down. Then I forget every good idea I've ever had.  So my friend, who knows my horrible problem, bought me a small journal that I know take with me everywhere.  Although it hasn't gotten much use yet, I can't wait for those long nights over vacations and weekends where my insomnia has kicked in full force.  I have written one short poem in it and it basically describes my insomnia.

To tired to think

I'm on the brink

Of losing my mind

These days are long

a never ending song

I am in a bind

My hand just writes

While my heat and brain fights

and my soul is ignorantly blind

It's short, sweet and mostly to the point. 

       But, this poem (along with my Crying, Crying Softly one) has brought something to the forefront of my mind.  This year is the first year my high school will be having its first annual Poetry Slam at a lodge in our town.  Most of the town thinks it's a joke and the other people are only going because they have to for English class. My friend and I on the other hand are really excited about this, we love hearing poems or stories that someone our age wrote. 

      However, my friend is courageous and has no problem with everyone knowing she likes to write and letting other people read her writing.  Me on the other hand am scared out of my mind! I never let anyone but my friend (and you guys) read what I wrote, and now she wants me to get up in front of the town and read something from my heart, something I wrote myself.  She wants me to read something personal.  She wants them to see into my soul, something I never let anyone do.  Something I don't want anyone to do. 

      So this may be one of the reasons of my insomnia, my struggle over to go to the Poetry Slam. Or maybe its the fact that I want to go to the Poetry Slam but have no idea what to write.  Maybe if I finally let someone see inside my soul I will finally be able to sleep at night. Maybe this whole thing will pass and I won't have to make a fool out of myself in front of the town. Maybe....

Maggie♥