The Man Who Can't Be Moved....

Looking out at the rolling waves they say there.  The unsaid question hung in the air, the silence becoming more awkward by the second.  She shifted the sand squishing below her butt.  He shifted just as she did, a blush rising in her cheeks.  They both confessed that they both loved each other, just minutes before.  Now the silence fell awkward, there was no amazing first kiss or slow walk into the sunset.  He looked around; they were the only ones on the beach.  Even though it was unseasonably warm for November no one came to the beach because of the dark clouds that hung low in the sky.  It was probably an omen, he thought.  An eastward wind blew the air in from the sea, causing the temperature to drop several degrees.  She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.  Her thin long sleeved shirt held no protection for her.  She scooted closer to her best friend hoping, like old times, he would help her.  And just like old times, he did.  He unzipped his sweatshirt and they sat as close as possible so that the sweatshirt could be wrapped around the both of them.

His arm wrapped around her and she whispered, “Thanks.” She looked at his face for the first time since they said it and saw that he was looking out towards the ocean. But occasionally she would catch him looking at her then they would both blush and look away. 

“This could work you know?” He started now looking down at her. “This relationship thing.”

“What if it doesn’t work, I don’t want to lose you.  I’d rather love you like a brother and have you then love you like I want to and lose you.” she said hugging him tightly around the chest.

“You won’t lose me,” he promised.  “I love you, this will work out.”    He was now hugging her around her waist, holding her to his chest.  “So, do you want to see if this will work out? Because I do,” he said stroking her hair. 

“I’m still nervous, what if it doesn’t work out.” She countered.

“If you -” but he was cut off.  Her lips touched his gently, chastely, then she pulled away smiling. 

If you want to wait that’s fine, is what he was planning on saying.  But he never got the chance because he never needed it.  “What changed your mind?” he asked, she blushed there was no way for her to say this.

“I looked at you and saw the love in your eyes, and I knew when you looked at me you saw the same thing.  God, that sounds cheesy.” She said blushing and hiding her face in her shirt.

“It doesn’t sound cheesy, it sounds amazing coming from you.” he said bringing her face up to his and kissing her softly. 

“Now that was cheesy,” she said and laughed lightly.  “But I love you”

“I know” he joked “I love you too.”

“I know” she said with a laugh.  The crashing waves and the silent beach now echoed their love for each other.  However the clouds didn’t move and the omen still lay.

Sigh.
The would've been a perfect relationship! That should've been my relationship! But, alas, it isn't.  After only two days (TWO DAYS!) my boyfriend broke up with me.  However he was real sweet about it.  He wanted to break up with me because he didn't want us to get further into a relationship and break up and never be friends anymore.  I understood where he was coming from but it still broke my heart to hear that. 
     But he still likes me, and I still like him, and we're still good friends.  But he wants us to get closer as friends, and then, maybe then we can start going out again.  However I'll be waiting for that relationship to come, waiting till I can hold his hand and kiss him like I want to and I'm pretty sure he's waiting for the same thing (unless he lied to me).  I'll be the man who can't be moved, stuck in that one spot between friendship and relationship. 
      So I put on a brave face and told everyone I was over the relationship when I really wasn't.  Sure I could laugh and pretend when I was around people, but it was  when I was alone that I could feel it.  The want and longing gnawing at my insides.  I could barely sleep because I would have dreams of him telling me how much he loved me and I'd wake up because they weren't real.  Or I would dream about him hating me, and never wanting to see me again and I would wake up crying to scared to go back to sleep.  The only time that the want and longing wasn't gnawing at my insides was those few times a day I could go up to him and hug him.  I would make those few seconds count. Now maybe the gnawing will subside since I finally got that off my chest.  But I'm hoping for a better tomorrow, always hoping.
Maggie </3